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Comedian/writer David Feldman joins forces with badtouchgoodtouch.com and explains the intricate fuckery that is the US economy. Audio is taken from David’s weekly podcast, visuals harvested from youtube, archive.org and various other places. Edited together by Jimmy Lee Wirt and Britta Bordeaux.

Have you ever considered a career in soft core pornography? Do you have flabby, pimple marked butt cheeks that haven’t seen the sunlight since 1971? Do you consider yourself to be a Southern gentleman? Or, at the very least, a big ol’ tub of fun lovin’ good times? Well, you just might have what it takes to become a model on Southern Gents! I think you might want to check out the competition first, though. There’s some winners on Southern Gents, so if you think you have what it takes to be a Southern Gents model, you better bring your A game!

JUST THE FACTS ABOUT THE MAN BEHIND THE SHACK

WHO:  Storm

LIVES:  Sin City

BORN:  October 1968

DRINKS:  Jack Daniels straight & ice cold Silver Bullets

EATS:  Fur pies, pink tacos, and shaved clams

PHONE:  Join The Shack Of Sin for this one!

FOOTBALL:  Diehard member of Patriot Nation

KICKBALL:  I have my own damn kickball team “wanna kick some balls with me?”

MUSIC:  Hell yeah…in fact, CRANK IT UP!

QUOTE:  Rock On

Here’s a sample of what Storm is brining to the table:

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A Little Bit About Beau Jingles….

The Basics

Birthday – February 7, 1972
Sign – Aquarius
Marital status – I have fiance and we are swingers.We love to share!
Height – 6’0″
Waist size – 38
Shoes size – 11
Eye color – Hazel
Hair color – Light Brown
Job – Computer Geek and Amateur Photographer
A few of my favorite things.

Colour – Dark Green, Blue, Earthtones

Drink – Guinness, New Castle Brown and White Russians

Shot – Cabo Wabo Tequila

Food – Steak

Music – Rock and Roll, Hard, Soft anyway I can get it…

Cologne – To be honest I don’t like cologne, on occasion I will use some Aqua Velva aftershave, love the burn.

Dessert – German Chocolate Cheesecake.

The sexy and more important things.

Sexual orientation – Straight, but not phobic…can’t be when your cock happens to be in a mouth of a hot slut at the same time some other guys cock is in there too…:P

Body Hair – I keep myself shaved and trimmed in the right areas, and like to make sure all my hair is kept groomed and looking nice.

Turn-ons – a nice smile, great eyes, and a great ass…

Turn offs – conceitedness and lack of intelligence

Vacation spot – anywhere there’s naked people having fun

Measurements – Join my members side to find out!

Favorite position – depends on my mood but I am partial to Doggie, and cowgirl

Ambitions – to open my own business doing something I love

Weaknesses – damsels in distress, I like being their knight in shining armor…

Here’s a taste of Mr. Beau Jingles…Mr. Beau Jingles….Mr. Beau Jingles, dance:

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Age: 51
Marital status: Very happily married to Abbie
Height: 5’8″
Weight: 155
Eyes: Brown
Hair: Salt ‘n Pepper
Favorite Drink: Iced Tea
Favorite Food: Whatever Abbie’s in the mood for!
Sexual Orientation: Straight
Hobbies: My beautiful wife, Abbie, being the Southern Voyeur, and of course, SEX!
Favorite Sexual Position: Whatever pleases my partner!
Weaknesses: A woman with sexuality as well as beauty

Peek a boo, I see you! Now you are the voyeur by looking at Southern Voyeurs pictures! Irony complete!

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Stay tuned for more choice selections from Southern Gents!

What if Donny Kerabatsos and Donnie Darko showed up to the wrong set?

What if Frank the rabbit had a cleft asshole?

What if it Walter was a high school teacher?

What if the Germans were smurfs?

Writers Laura Braun and Eric Tolles answer all those questions, and more!

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Your mailbox is calling, dude. -Laura

‎I`m throwing Charmin tonight! Meet at 8 dude. -Eric

Do you see what happens Donnie? Do you see what happens Donnie? DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS DONNIE, WHEN YOU INSERT THE LIFELINE EXERCISE CARD INTO A TEACHER’S ANUS? -Eric

Son, you are entering a wormhole of pain. -Laura

It really tied the kiddie porn dungeon together, did it not?
And this kid started a fire in it. -Eric

‎So you have no frame of reference here, Donny. you’re like a child that wanders into the middle of a double homicide… -Laura

You want a sparrow, I can get you a sparrow. I can get you a sparrow by 3 o’clock, with gray hair. -Eric

You’re killing your rabbit Donnie. -Laura

Obviously, you’re not a sleep-golfer. -Eric

Also, Dude, ‘Fuckass’ is not the preferred nomenclature. -Laura

Do you still think about girls a lot?
You mean ‘coitus?’ -Laura

I’ll suck a fuck for a thousand dollars. -Eric

She’s a therapist?
She was threatening medication. Are we gonna split hares here? -Eric

They’re called ‘Sparkle Motion,’ they’re some kind of, ugh, Pedo-Pop. -Eric

Say what you want about the tenets of National Smurfism; at least it’s asexual -Eric

Nobody fucks with the Cunningham. -Eric

Chut the fuck up Donnie. -Laura

I am really starting to doubt your commitment to the next round robin. -Laura

Life does not start and stop at your convenience, you mysterious rabbit costume. -Eric

I could just be sitting here with a jet engine in my room. -Eric

And you know, he’s got emotional problems man.
You mean…beyond parodoxism? -Eric

I’m just going to go find a time machine. -Eric

Do you see the fear people? Do you see the fear people? DO YOU SEE THE FEAR PEOPLE, WHEN YOU SEARCH FOR AN ANSWER IN THE WRONG PLACE? -Eric

Hey, careful man, there’s a portal here! -Laura

You must be here to fix the cellar door. -Eric

Lord. You can imagine where it goes from here.
He collapses the tangent universe? -Laura

Inspiring? Check. Courageous? Check.

Jaw Dropping? Technically, yes!

Here’s the second installment of Rock N B-Roll, this time we feature the ridiculous ‘Satan-Lite’ video ‘Looks That Kill’, not featuring the Los Angeles hard rock band Motley Crue. This video has it all! Girls in loin clothes, girls in cages, flying pentagrams and fire! The only thing it’s lacking is an actual appearance from Satan himself…now that would have been epic!