What if Donny Kerabatsos and Donnie Darko showed up to the wrong set?
What if Frank the rabbit had a cleft asshole?
What if it Walter was a high school teacher?
What if the Germans were smurfs?
Writers Laura Braun and Eric Tolles answer all those questions, and more!
Your mailbox is calling, dude. -Laura
I`m throwing Charmin tonight! Meet at 8 dude. -Eric
Do you see what happens Donnie? Do you see what happens Donnie? DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS DONNIE, WHEN YOU INSERT THE LIFELINE EXERCISE CARD INTO A TEACHER’S ANUS? -Eric
Son, you are entering a wormhole of pain. -Laura
It really tied the kiddie porn dungeon together, did it not?
And this kid started a fire in it. -Eric
So you have no frame of reference here, Donny. you’re like a child that wanders into the middle of a double homicide… -Laura
You want a sparrow, I can get you a sparrow. I can get you a sparrow by 3 o’clock, with gray hair. -Eric
You’re killing your rabbit Donnie. -Laura
Obviously, you’re not a sleep-golfer. -Eric
Also, Dude, ‘Fuckass’ is not the preferred nomenclature. -Laura
Do you still think about girls a lot?
You mean ‘coitus?’ -Laura
I’ll suck a fuck for a thousand dollars. -Eric
She’s a therapist?
She was threatening medication. Are we gonna split hares here? -Eric
They’re called ‘Sparkle Motion,’ they’re some kind of, ugh, Pedo-Pop. -Eric
Say what you want about the tenets of National Smurfism; at least it’s asexual -Eric
Nobody fucks with the Cunningham. -Eric
Chut the fuck up Donnie. -Laura
I am really starting to doubt your commitment to the next round robin. -Laura
Life does not start and stop at your convenience, you mysterious rabbit costume. -Eric
I could just be sitting here with a jet engine in my room. -Eric
And you know, he’s got emotional problems man.
You mean…beyond parodoxism? -Eric
I’m just going to go find a time machine. -Eric
Do you see the fear people? Do you see the fear people? DO YOU SEE THE FEAR PEOPLE, WHEN YOU SEARCH FOR AN ANSWER IN THE WRONG PLACE? -Eric
Hey, careful man, there’s a portal here! -Laura
You must be here to fix the cellar door. -Eric
Lord. You can imagine where it goes from here.
He collapses the tangent universe? -Laura